TRADING MY NAIVETE

Being naïve is a blissful ignorance that is truly enjoyable while it persists but when it gets compromised you view life in two ways: Thankful that you can now ‘see’ clearly or; regret for losing that naiveté.
I had a secondary school boyfriend and when we had our first kiss, I honestly believed I had lost my virginity. For each new class, I had a different boyfriend. People thought I was so streetwise whereas I knew nothing. It would surprise my ex-school mates if they knew otherwise, all of them excluding the boyfriends.
So I went to college along with a resolution not to make up, to hide my shape and bla bla bla so all those bad boys won’t see me. Yeah right! They snuffed me out from the long ankle length skirts and my empty face with only powder and lip gloss.
My cover was blown when my mother who spares no expense on her dressing and appearance came to pay me a visit; then people wondered how I could look so drab with a mom this fabulous looking.
She employed my friends who were way different (in terms of dressing and cosmetics) from me to shake me up a bit and not allow me look as barefaced as a man. She did all that with good intentions I know, but all it brought me was unwanted attention to my otherwise quiet life.
So through my girlfriend (for purposes of easy communication, her name will be Beauty), I met this guy, Bobi very popular and a lively company at that. He spared me a glance and had a few minutes conversation with me,said I was a nice girl to which I blushed uncontrollably. Bobi said he’d like to see me again.
I couldn’t stop talking about him! He was my first real thing! I was too naïve to know the rules of the game that this wasn’t secondary school and these guys were all old in the game and I, just a JJC.
I started visiting him and all that and then I met all the hardcore chics who drank, smoked and were also runz babes. In all this, I discovered that they were all in serious relationships in school and it amazed me to no end that a guy would still find such a girl attractive despite the obvious, then, I thought, mine would be a piece of cake.
When I first told him I was a virgin, He laughed to my face! Off course he didn’t believe me what with chics do these days. I never planned to give up my virginity; I had started getting reports about him and his philandering and it hurt like hell. He even told me that he liked me too much to mess with me and that he’d advice me to leave him be, I wasn’t the girl for him and that time with all the demon he had pursuing him. Did I listen? No, I wanted to convince him of mine love for him and win him over. I was so blind and terribly so.
I could have saved myself the stress but I continued and one day when I spent the night at his place which wasn’t the first time anyway he pounced on me and as much as I entreated on his better side, all my entreaties feel on deaf ears. After he was done, he said:
‘..Thought you said you were a virgin? I didn’t even feel any resistance there, you chics! ‘
I cried as I had never done before. I hated myself, Beauty for introducing us. None of the experiences chics have with their boyfriends with blissful memories were anything like mine. It was horrible, humiliating and bad. I just knew I had just experienced the worst sex ever!
The next day, a neighbor came in to his room (a girl, thank God!) and screamed at what she saw. What even he didn’t notice, me neither. There were blood stains on the bed sheet. It was then that he looked at me and kept apologizing .Well, it was too late. I feel ill and was bedridden for a few days before I went home for the vacation.

PROLOUGE

Crazy you know? Thought I’d be flooding with my escapades and experiences. Faced with coming up with the perfect way to come out in the open.

Been in the closet for so long it’s so hard to not be locked up in my head. What to do now? I’d spill spill and keep spilling. Maybe that would make me feel abit…Now what’s the word I should use?

I could get sad at times looking back at my past but then, Hey it’s not my fault when things get bad no matter how hard I try is it?

Now I’m told I’m a heartless bitch.Their cross not mine.

It’s not my fault I’m too pretty to be real;

Not my fault I’m sexy and get sexier by the year;

I make no apologies for who and what I am.

I’d not lie to you when I don’t like you but will help you spend your money when you won’t just let me be.

Cause I’ve found out the surest way to send a man running is to make him believe you’re out to get his moneyL (see Olympic game in action)

Who’s the guy that says no woman can entice him out of his relationship or whatever he has going for him at that time? I’d say that’s a big fat lie. It just depends on when your paths cross and the prevailing circumstances at that time in his life.

A chic tells you she didn’t know when she fell for the guy or how she starts sleeping around. Indeed! One amazing thing about women is that they’re more strong willed than men even though they are supposed to be the weaker sex.So, when they do something, its cause they actually want to at that point in time.

What is this? This is supposed to be a short prologue,

I’m Sosexy, sexy and deliciously dangerous to both male and female. Can’t compromise my happiness, Call me self centered, your biz not mine.

I’m about to let you in on my concept not cause you deserve it but to amuse me and maybe you get amused too. Hopefully you get to learn from it too.

I’d be back with Chapter one; Cheers!