AN ASIDE

SOSEXY SPEAKS:
Away from my blog for a while but don’t worry, I’d be doing my blog rounds just as soon as I am done with this post. Thing is, I hate typing and since I don’t just type a post without first writing it down, it kind of duplicates my work.
I should continue with Patrick’s story but I’d rather I offloaded what is on my chest although, I promise to be back with his story.
Yankeenaijababe expressed dismay at the abrupt end of Bobi and Beauty’s tale: I did that because, since I’m still living, it means or that you’d still be reading about them from time to time. I didn’t want to keep going on and on about the story till it becomes boring and tiring when there are a lot of them to tell.

SOSEXY KEEPS SPEAKING:
I was posted outside of the state in which I was resident for my NYSC and so from time to time, I would travel back to Lagos just feel sane and simply unwind with friends and family.
I’m sure you all are a bit lost; I should tell this story the right way since I’ve laid a proper premise. I received a sms a few days back which read as follows:

“(My name withheld) or whatever you call yourself;
You husband snatcher! You think you have successfully
broken my home. Well now we are separated, so you can
become (name withheld)’s 3rd wife, I promise you, he’d sleep
with your mother, sister and househelp, you village dog!”

I was so shocked because I don’t as a rule, encourage married men. I hate them when I find out they are not disciplined and don’t condone sexual advances from them. I also recollected the guy’s name (Judge not yet) but in all honesty, I’ve only met him once so how can his wife be raining curses and abuses on me, blaming me for the failure of her marriage?
My first impulse was to send a reply asking if she was ok and maybe she had the wrong number? But the name in the text suggested that it was intended for me. Then again, a silent voice advised me to delete the message and I did just that. When I brought the issue up with my girlfriend who knew the whole story concerning this guy, she laughed and said:
“Chic, he wants your attention! He just cannot believe
That he’s been had, you actually dealt cards which guys
Would normally deal”

MAIN ‘KOKO’:
One of those times I came in from my place of primary assignment, I woke up one morning with an intent to see a dear friend of mine and decided to go pay him a visit at his place of work. I didn’t go with a car because they were all in use; after the visit, my friend saw me off but when we got to the company’s parking lot, it was then he realized I didn’t come with a ride that day which meant I had to stand under a terribly hot and scorching sun to get a cab. My friend had to get back to his office and me; I waited, stood alone for a cab that was proving difficult by the minute to see.
The sun now was so hot, I had already started to perspire and my make-up had started to drip down my face (picture that). I was still looking hot (well but excuse me, but I always do) and off course, trust Lagos guys and wanting to always give you a lift (‘ wonder if anyone of them has ever given one to a spirit?).
I don’t as a rule take ‘lifts’ but on this day, the sun had started doing wonders to my brain and when this guy with a cool ride stopped, he didn’t have to ask me twice before I happily hopped in. Turns out I was heading to Lekki and he, Victoria Island but I didn’t mind much, I just needed some time to cool off with the car’s A/C and anywhere he drops me in V/I, I could comfortably get a cab home.
Not 3minutes after the car started moving, he started acting funny, asking me out and telling me how God had wanted us to meet by making him take this route which he doesn’t take because of the traffic. I had already started getting irritated; He said he was married but to an American (eyes rolling; yeah right, like I care!) that he needs a companion who’d ‘take care’ of him. That he works with Toyota (That was before it went bankrupt).

He went as far as saying he has a party to attend which a certain Governor had had invited to be appreciated;he didn’t want to go there single, since the said Governor will want to hook him up with all sorts of girls that he wants a clean girl like me. That I should be lucky he’s picked me, he could marry me as his Naija wife if I’m good to him, we should go for the party so we could ‘cement’ our new found love. I felt dirty; hating myself for breaking my resolve never to take ‘lifts’. He asked me of my name and I did give him my name but he wasn’t paying attention and started calling me something else which was fine by me. He even went as far as trying to hold my hands in the car! I was beginning to get scared and couldn’t wait for the ‘lift’ to be over. He paid for my cab-fare and said he’d call me to conclude ‘our’ travel arrangements.
When I got home, I called this girlfriend of mine and she laughed at me calling me an ‘osho free’, me sef, I come tire for myself. He called though the next day but trust me, I didn’t pick.
My friend and I went back to our station shortly after that. A month or so after that, he called and I picked not knowing who it was at the other end. (I had deleted his number) He then identified himself and said I should come down to Lagos to see him; I then said okay but asked for my ticket-to and fro; he said he knows I have money, that I should pay my way down, he’d re-imburse me. I just hissed and ended the conversation.

My friend- “What’s up?”
Sosexy- “It’s that married Toyota guy again”
My friend- “He’s still hanging around”
Sosexy- “That isn’t even the annoying part, he said
That I should come down to Lagos to see him at my
Own expense”
My friend- “That guy’s stupid!”
Sosexy- “Imagine the bingo!”


I don’t respect married guys that mess around. I don’t chase them away, I teach them a lesson by ‘helping’ them spend their money till they realize that they’ve been played and I would definitely not have anything to do with them. Hence my annoyance at chics who go the whole 9yards when you can just curb your greed and manage the little you got from the early periods. Please why should I be a married man’s consolation prize or his ego enhancer when there are loads of single guys out there? Not here to preach so let me continue:
So this ‘bingo’ calls again and exactly a month or so had gone past and told me that he’s in Abuja for a meeting and lodging at Hilton that I should come and have fun with him. I asked him if I’d get there with my teeth, then he said he’d call the counter to book a flight for me; I wasn’t happy because the money will go to waste since I wasn’t going.
He called back to say there were no flights at that time and that I should send my account number, preferably a bank within the hotel; I sent him a friend’s redundant account which she wasn’t in the habit of using. He finally sent the flight money and added more money ‘to take care of myself’ that I should start coming immediately. I laughed. This is exactly what they do to entice girls who then fall prey out of greed for more.
What I did with the money?
My friends and I had sweet fun for 3days with the money.Oh and yeah, he sent me a text saying ‘God will judge me’ well, back to sender! I hissed and deleted the silly text.
After all this time as I’m now working and all he still can’t get over the fact that some girls can be bad. He should admit it, I was a better schemer and I make no apologies. All these married men need to be taught a lesson, yeah! GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE!
Be back with Patrick.