It's been AGES people! Miss me big?

Hello Peeps! How has it been in blogsville? I see so many new people are now here. So what's new? I guess everyone is tired of my yearly hiatus but I KINDA promise it won't be that way anymore.. We really need to get back to my Patrick gist: "Looking at the accident, I wondered what I could have done if I was involved in it. Although lives were not lost but those who suffered injuries still have serious scars to remind them of that incident till date. The bus I was in stopped and we all gathered to rescue the injured. As with every accident associated with students, the crowd immediately pegged them as' party goers' and rained abuses on them. Well, thanking God for my safety, I returned to the safe confines of my room. I must have slept. For half of the day when I heard a knock on the door,when I went to get it, it was Shade with curiousity written all over her face. "So you came back and you didn't even let me know abi?" She asked- "Abeg" I responded as I moved back to my bed " when you heard about the accident, you should have come to check if I was okay" I replied. "Ehenn? Do you know how many questions and checking I asked just to verify that your are okay? Anyway, that's topic for another day.. What happened? Gist me.. Don't remove anything o, who and who attended cause school was kinda empty" she said whilst trying to make herself comfortable on the bed. I gave her a dirty look ;" Kenneth's girlfriend came for the part!" " Why didn't you tell me he has a girlfriend? It was really embarrassing oh" I said all in one breathe. With raised eyebrows she asked: "Does it matter?" "To me," she continued , "the important thing is whether you like Kenneth, his chic is not the issue and she will never be" she said with this all knowing look. "Why?" I asked "Do you like Kenneth?" she pressed with this irritating smile on her face. "No I don't. At all at all" " You had me worried, abeg that guy is not your type biko!" Shade finished as she settled comfortably back on the bed. "And he's razz too" I concurred. "Sha, that Kenneth's chic is a lesbian o" shade said "Its a lie! Are you sure? She didn't look it o" I said "Do they write it on the forehead, so gist me,what and what happened ?" She asked me.. I gave her the low down and then told her about Patrick. " Madam, how can you like someone who you don't know his name or if he has a girlfriend? Please don't like him yet, you look lovesick already" she teased. "Well sha na you know o" I replied, " I was just trying to tell you what's up " I said. I wondered why I was getting all defensive and had to proffer reasons/excuses for my actions but I just couldn't stop thinking of my nameless crush. It was intoxicating and I found that I had forgotten Bobi. Two weeks had gone by and I was beginning to get used to the fact that Patrick was a distant dream when Shade's boyfriend in an uncharacteristic friendly manner asked me to escort him to the joint arena to get a textbook. I found it odd and amusing cause his only friend,companion was just Shade but I didn't think much of it cause there was nothing to think about. So with my textbook in one arm and the other linked through Shade's bf, we strolled to the arena and I remember seeing Patrick in one of these restaurants with his best friend kachi, eating. Need I tell you that it was a welcome surprise when Shade's bf beckoned on Patrick and Patrick came smiling with an outstretched hand; "Hi, how are you? My name is Patrick,what's yours?" Shyly, I replied. "Sosexy" "Hmmm,nice name" he said whilst looking into my eyes.. I melted. In every sense of the word. We all noticed he was still holding my hand, Shade's boyfriend had to pry my hand away from Patrick's. "Go back" he said "I'd meet you up later" he said abruptly So I left. I wasn't sure what happened but I was giddy with this oh so sweet feeling I didn't want to stop having. I was all smiles when I got to Shade's room; "I see you've met Patrick, atleast formally" she said with this knowing look. "What?" I must have looked lost ans surprised 'cause she beckoned to me saying: "Don't just stand there, you think it was just mere coincidence that had Patrick sitting there? Or you both meeting? He's been bugging my baby to introduce you both seeing that you never leave your room" "Are you serious, come now, gist me" I begged her. "You too gist me" she replied I hurriedly gave her the details of my meeting with Patrick then she in turn told me how Patrick went through her boyfriend to get to know me,adding that he actually likes me. Need I tell you I was beside myself with excitement? Although I couldn't sort through my feelings, I was happy. I was experiencing romance, the type I had always dreamt of. *********************************************************************************** I want to say a special thanks to all who commented on my last post. I am back so you don't have to wonder when the next post will be up.. Thank you Feral Female,Doll,Nutty J to mention but a few.. Love you all more than I do me. Kisses! Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

PATRICK2

It’s been quite a loooong time!
I’m not a miss nice so I’m not going to bore you apologies but going ahead with my PATRICK story because I’m sure that’s what you’d rather I did than bore you with reasons why I’ve not been on blogger or excuses as well as promises to make good this time.

Well, my life has been full!
It’s a wonder the things human beings get up to in a year and that’s saying a little…
I suppose the saying when there’s life, there’s hope does go a long way and sure has a whole lot of connotations.
I’m sounding philosophical eh?
Sorry, I’m going through my life in my head and I won’t be surprised to know that God in heaven has a book meant specially for me or that in many years to come, people would be reading about me and my journey through life.
Like in OLA ROTIMI’s book The Gods Are Not To Blame,
Where King Odewale(correct me if I’m wrong) said:
‘’ ….The Butterfly thinks itself a bird….’’

Over the years, I have thought about this remark and although it struck me as odd, yet, I found it so powerful.
Listen; get my point; when you think big, you eventually become big…. I don’t want to get personal and motivational on the steps and all but if I believe that a book would be written about me in years to come, come on people, it would be so in Jesus name o!
I’m thinking big here…

THE STORY CONTINUES…
The journey started, and like I said earlier (read previous episodes), I didn’t have anyone to talk to, and so it seemed also with the girl who Patrick had so tenderly delivered to the car. We struck up conversation and chatted about this n that before we drifted in to a companionable silence.

On the way to the venue of the party, we got arrested at a police checkpoint; when we got to the police station, I was able to blend in the crowd cause, of my dressing, I had on a cardigan to cover up the skimpy I had underneath and I didn’t have an ID card so it was so easy for me to escape. It was a sight to behold! The harassment and the manhandling of female students was horrible! Trust The Nigerian police to take advantage of someone’s fear and uncertainty.

The questions and interrogation that ensued isn’t what I would wish for my rivals but finally, some guys came and settled the policemen and those who were arrested were bailed.
We continued our journey to the party and of course it was already in full swing! It was also a pool party and since I hadn’t come prepared for that, I found myself a place to seat and thereafter concentrated on packaging the whole gist for my friend, Shade.

I wondered where Kenneth who had invited me to the party was and why he hadn’t even come to check up on me like every host would but then, I had someone to chat with (same girl) and all the food and gift items that was distributed at the party, came to me first like I was the Chairlady of the party.

Much later, Patrick came and asked if we ladies were okay and needed anything, I didn’t even pay much attention to him cause I was like, ‘’what’s the guy being nice to me when his girlfriend is sitting this close to me?’’

‘’what’s up?’’ I asked this new friend of mine.

‘’Go and be with your boyfriend now, like dance with him or something, why are you sitting here?’’ I finished;

‘’Ah’’ She exclaimed

‘’Sosexy please you won’t understand’’ she replied

‘’Understand what? They’d snatch him from you oh’’ I joked

‘’Sosexy, he’s not my boyfriend, his friend is-‘’ she finished

Chineke mei! Boy did I feel relieved! But I wondered what the deal was, like even if Patrick wasn’t her boyfriend, that kind of guy sure as hell won’t be free, hell no!

‘’Ehen? So where’s your boyfriend na?’’ I pressed

‘’ Since we came, he’s been avoiding me, I don’t know what’s wrong with him’’ she told me.

I felt so sorry for her and I was mad at men all over once again. Whatever the hell gave them the right to be so nasty to nice girls as I remembered my experience with Bobi and told her to forget the so called guy and have fun.

‘’Point him out to me for future reference’’ I urged her

Lo and behold, guess who she pointed out to me to be her boyfriend? KENNETH!

To say I was shocked is an understatement! To my credit I hid it. Apparently, Kenneth did not bargain for us to be fast friends let alone party companions and that spoilt his plans…
From what Patrick told me later on when we became friends, Kenneth was so confused when he saw his girlfriend and me together, cause, he had plans to ask me out. So bottom line, Kenneth hung out alone during the party and I’d say it was a befitting punishment for him...

I had a room to myself, how? I do not know. All I know was a reservation had already been made for me and so I took this new friend to stay with me in my room and there we stayed watching movies till 4.30-5a.m the next morning.

I got up to leave and this friend said she wasn’t yet ready to leave; I guess she wanted to get some time alone with weasel Kenneth and see if she could sort things out. Well, that was on her, if she couldn’t see the handwriting on the wall then I sure as hell wasn’t going to point it out to her.
I left and as I got the reception, I saw Patrick and he was asking to pay to for the room that was reserved for Sosexy (that’s me).

I wondered why he was paying for my room when he wasn’t the one that invited me and I wondered about all the gift items I had received too. Well, like my mum would always say (crazy mama that she is, lol) awoof no get bone. So what the hell?! I just went through the reception and out onto the hotel grounds and pretended not to have heard what had transpired at the reception and Patrick acted like he didn’t even notice me.

I was hot for the guy and I knew it!
I wondered how I was going to get over it.

When I went to the car I came with, an inconsiderate couple chanced me and I had to go in the next vehicle which was a bus.
As is expected from people who had partied all night long, people started sleeping 5mins after the bus started moving. I was still pissed at being rudely displaced from the car when the said car sped past us. It wasn’t up to 10mins when we saw the car somersaulting with such violence as I have ever seen.

‘’ No one is going to survive this, and to think I would have be in the car’’ I thought.

PATRICK

Sosexy Apologises:
I am so sorry that I have been away for far too long; I met someone when I wasn’t expecting to and he sorta changed my mood as to writing. No, I have not stopped writing but he kind of made me smile, remind me that there were guys who could still do that to you and effortlessly, but then I don’t think or would I believe that this feeling of blissful happiness would last for long, so yeah, I, on my own, have woken myself up from this slumber before I am unceremoniously awoken from it. He still hasn’t done wrong but I don’t believe guys are this nice. I am back and won’t be distracted anymore. You sir, are too good to be true and I, won’t want to get hurt by liking you too much!

Sosexy Speaks:
This Patrick story has taken too long that even I, have become tired of the suspense…
As I sat in Shade’s room trying to read for the tests coming up in a few days, Shade walked in with this purposeful look on her face and from her countenance, I knew she had something to say to me so I dropped my pen, turned towards her with a resigned look on my face waiting, for whatever she had to say:
“Madam, you have to relax; come and hang out with me,
You have to forget Bobi and the crap he’s exhibiting
With that silly runs chick of a girlfriend he has and
And live a little”
“There are some many guys out there tripping for you and you know it
At least, choose one let’s start vetting him; I won’t let you date just about anyone just cause you like him, if you won’t shine your eyes, I would for you”

And I say:
“I don’t know if there’s any guy out there that I’d really like
I tell you, how? I’ve totally lost it.”

But Shade cuts in:
“Oh please come off it!” she barks at me;
“You can’t be serious! That silly looking Bobi, that ugly toad!
We all wondered what it was about him that you found attractive, it had better be just his publicity oh! He’s always wearing that his stupid boat-like green shoe! Always that green shoe! Please, doesn’t he have any other footwear? And what a silly colour for a guy! That razz guy?! Don’t even get me started oh! Mscheew!”

Throughout her outburst, I didn’t say anything because really, what was there to say? I had intended to live a quiet life and yet, here I am, my name wasn’t just on the lips of those of my friends or course mates, you know? Or even neighbours, but now, of the whole school and in nasty silly details: I’m sure they now knew what colour of panties I wear. I was feeling sorry for myself and I knew it yet, I wasn’t in a hurry to snap out of it. I continued with reading my books since that had suffered terribly during my ‘loving up’ days and I knew I could do better so I proceeded to do just that.
I went in for a test and because I was tired and exhausted from just reading and never resting or just even taking a break, I slept through the test and woke up 5mins to the end; of course you know the test for me was as good as not written! I was so mad at myself and walked back to my room, dejected.
Well on my way, someone called my name which ordinarily I would have ignored but for some reason, I turned towards the direction of the sound and I saw that it came from a guy who had been trying to get my attention; Kenneth. I almost hissed out loud but thank God I managed to control it. Nothing is wrong with the guy, handsome and all but he just isn’t my speck. To me, he was just razz and in capital letters please! Anyway, when he was close enough to me, he invited me for a party and I just smiled and told him that I would think about it and even he had to look at me in surprise. I shocked myself too seeing that I usually refuse. I don’t attend parties nor do I club and I liked to think that I was an innocent in those aspects.
Shade paid me a visit and I told her about the party and she was so happy and told me she had heard about it and was wishing she’d be invited and since it was strictly on invite, she urged me to go so I could give her the gist when I got back; I needed just a little push and for once, I was like: “what the heck!” What did I have to lose? I was single and I should just free up a bit, go have a little ‘look see’ at what people do in parties.
When Kenneth came up to my room to ask my response, I gave him my affirmation then he told me when and where to meet up with him for transportation and all, I dressed simply: a skimpy top and a low waist jeans but on second thoughts I pulled on a cardigan over the top and didn’t take any I.D with me but just my phone; I met up with the rest of the attendees at the rendezvous, saw the chics who were attending, I didn’t know most cause we didn’t move in the same circles. I saw the guys, cool guys, some I knew, some I didn’t, still we didn’t move in the same circles.
But I noticed something; they all came with their girlfriend or so I thought; I saw this coooool guy with a bandage on his right wrist guide a not particularly pretty chic in to the car I was in and he looked at me and me, him; passingly though and I didn’t think he noticed me that much and I thought to myself:
“So there are correct guys that are so in to their babes and are so crazy about them that they can do anything for them? Where was this guy all this time? Where has my head been all this while?”
It was a passing thought; to me, the day that had started on a bad note was now beginning to look decidedly interesting and would end that way.
Oh I forgot to mention that the cool guy was Patrick and that was the first time I set my eyes on him.

TEN THINGS I LOVE
I was tagged by F and someone else... (Forgive me, I’d still mention you, I just have to be sure) I really have to accord them the respect and say something. So since I’ve been away, now I’m back I just have to do this. Things I love, others would find crazy or abnormal or would tag me to be something I’m actually not. So, if you misconstrue me after this, its fine and good, I’d even feel better.

1. I love sex and the foreplay with the right person that is.
2. I love to over sized foot wears.
3. I love to write, everyday, I write something.
4. I have a new friend who I love to talk to everyday so much it scares me.
5. I love chocolates and in the same vein, can’t help drinking garri everyday!
6. I love to be on the internet all day.
7. I love my big boobs and love to flaunt it
8. I love it when my friends are loyal and caring.
9. I love slim guys with a passion.
10. I love blogging along with these bloggers:
F
Myne Whitman
Seye
Muyiwa
Jaycee
Bon rose
Nutty J
Sugarking
T-notes
Blogoratti
2cute4u
Fabulola
Yankeenaijababe
Lady X
LDP
Rene
Shorty
Kristin
Girl With The Red Hair
Dith
Feral Female

Thanks y’ll!

AN ASIDE

SOSEXY SPEAKS:
Away from my blog for a while but don’t worry, I’d be doing my blog rounds just as soon as I am done with this post. Thing is, I hate typing and since I don’t just type a post without first writing it down, it kind of duplicates my work.
I should continue with Patrick’s story but I’d rather I offloaded what is on my chest although, I promise to be back with his story.
Yankeenaijababe expressed dismay at the abrupt end of Bobi and Beauty’s tale: I did that because, since I’m still living, it means or that you’d still be reading about them from time to time. I didn’t want to keep going on and on about the story till it becomes boring and tiring when there are a lot of them to tell.

SOSEXY KEEPS SPEAKING:
I was posted outside of the state in which I was resident for my NYSC and so from time to time, I would travel back to Lagos just feel sane and simply unwind with friends and family.
I’m sure you all are a bit lost; I should tell this story the right way since I’ve laid a proper premise. I received a sms a few days back which read as follows:

“(My name withheld) or whatever you call yourself;
You husband snatcher! You think you have successfully
broken my home. Well now we are separated, so you can
become (name withheld)’s 3rd wife, I promise you, he’d sleep
with your mother, sister and househelp, you village dog!”

I was so shocked because I don’t as a rule, encourage married men. I hate them when I find out they are not disciplined and don’t condone sexual advances from them. I also recollected the guy’s name (Judge not yet) but in all honesty, I’ve only met him once so how can his wife be raining curses and abuses on me, blaming me for the failure of her marriage?
My first impulse was to send a reply asking if she was ok and maybe she had the wrong number? But the name in the text suggested that it was intended for me. Then again, a silent voice advised me to delete the message and I did just that. When I brought the issue up with my girlfriend who knew the whole story concerning this guy, she laughed and said:
“Chic, he wants your attention! He just cannot believe
That he’s been had, you actually dealt cards which guys
Would normally deal”

MAIN ‘KOKO’:
One of those times I came in from my place of primary assignment, I woke up one morning with an intent to see a dear friend of mine and decided to go pay him a visit at his place of work. I didn’t go with a car because they were all in use; after the visit, my friend saw me off but when we got to the company’s parking lot, it was then he realized I didn’t come with a ride that day which meant I had to stand under a terribly hot and scorching sun to get a cab. My friend had to get back to his office and me; I waited, stood alone for a cab that was proving difficult by the minute to see.
The sun now was so hot, I had already started to perspire and my make-up had started to drip down my face (picture that). I was still looking hot (well but excuse me, but I always do) and off course, trust Lagos guys and wanting to always give you a lift (‘ wonder if anyone of them has ever given one to a spirit?).
I don’t as a rule take ‘lifts’ but on this day, the sun had started doing wonders to my brain and when this guy with a cool ride stopped, he didn’t have to ask me twice before I happily hopped in. Turns out I was heading to Lekki and he, Victoria Island but I didn’t mind much, I just needed some time to cool off with the car’s A/C and anywhere he drops me in V/I, I could comfortably get a cab home.
Not 3minutes after the car started moving, he started acting funny, asking me out and telling me how God had wanted us to meet by making him take this route which he doesn’t take because of the traffic. I had already started getting irritated; He said he was married but to an American (eyes rolling; yeah right, like I care!) that he needs a companion who’d ‘take care’ of him. That he works with Toyota (That was before it went bankrupt).

He went as far as saying he has a party to attend which a certain Governor had had invited to be appreciated;he didn’t want to go there single, since the said Governor will want to hook him up with all sorts of girls that he wants a clean girl like me. That I should be lucky he’s picked me, he could marry me as his Naija wife if I’m good to him, we should go for the party so we could ‘cement’ our new found love. I felt dirty; hating myself for breaking my resolve never to take ‘lifts’. He asked me of my name and I did give him my name but he wasn’t paying attention and started calling me something else which was fine by me. He even went as far as trying to hold my hands in the car! I was beginning to get scared and couldn’t wait for the ‘lift’ to be over. He paid for my cab-fare and said he’d call me to conclude ‘our’ travel arrangements.
When I got home, I called this girlfriend of mine and she laughed at me calling me an ‘osho free’, me sef, I come tire for myself. He called though the next day but trust me, I didn’t pick.
My friend and I went back to our station shortly after that. A month or so after that, he called and I picked not knowing who it was at the other end. (I had deleted his number) He then identified himself and said I should come down to Lagos to see him; I then said okay but asked for my ticket-to and fro; he said he knows I have money, that I should pay my way down, he’d re-imburse me. I just hissed and ended the conversation.

My friend- “What’s up?”
Sosexy- “It’s that married Toyota guy again”
My friend- “He’s still hanging around”
Sosexy- “That isn’t even the annoying part, he said
That I should come down to Lagos to see him at my
Own expense”
My friend- “That guy’s stupid!”
Sosexy- “Imagine the bingo!”


I don’t respect married guys that mess around. I don’t chase them away, I teach them a lesson by ‘helping’ them spend their money till they realize that they’ve been played and I would definitely not have anything to do with them. Hence my annoyance at chics who go the whole 9yards when you can just curb your greed and manage the little you got from the early periods. Please why should I be a married man’s consolation prize or his ego enhancer when there are loads of single guys out there? Not here to preach so let me continue:
So this ‘bingo’ calls again and exactly a month or so had gone past and told me that he’s in Abuja for a meeting and lodging at Hilton that I should come and have fun with him. I asked him if I’d get there with my teeth, then he said he’d call the counter to book a flight for me; I wasn’t happy because the money will go to waste since I wasn’t going.
He called back to say there were no flights at that time and that I should send my account number, preferably a bank within the hotel; I sent him a friend’s redundant account which she wasn’t in the habit of using. He finally sent the flight money and added more money ‘to take care of myself’ that I should start coming immediately. I laughed. This is exactly what they do to entice girls who then fall prey out of greed for more.
What I did with the money?
My friends and I had sweet fun for 3days with the money.Oh and yeah, he sent me a text saying ‘God will judge me’ well, back to sender! I hissed and deleted the silly text.
After all this time as I’m now working and all he still can’t get over the fact that some girls can be bad. He should admit it, I was a better schemer and I make no apologies. All these married men need to be taught a lesson, yeah! GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE!
Be back with Patrick.

CRUMBLED CARDS2

….I tried to feel the hands but couldn’t recognize the person. Finally, I begged to be released as my eyes were beginning to hurt. It was Bobi; amidst the hailing from his friends and everyone, he held my waist which was actually a first as he never did that in public while Shade kept looking at me like: “What are you going to do?”
In Bobi’s presence, I was overwhelmed especially as he was treating me like a treasure he didn’t want to lose sight of or let go so I basked in this if only for a while. Of course we ended up in his room and had sex but still I couldn’t work up the nerve to confront him. As far as I was concerned, the trouble wasn’t with him but with that back stabbing bitch who couldn’t keep her legs closed; and well, Bobi was showing a little consideration for me these days.
My new friend Shade wanted to cut off my throat and called me all sorts of names but I wasn’t perturbed. In all of this, Beauty had still not returned and basically the whole school was waiting for her as it promised them a showdown between the two of us. If Bobi heard anything or got wind of the impending doom he showed no knowledge of it and things continued as before with a relationship that was nothing to write home about.
Some weeks into school resumption, after a particular day of marathon lectures, I went jogging just to ease off on the stress and get away to be my sole company. When I got back to my room, I was told that Beauty came to see me. My skipped!
Much as I wanted to confront her, I wasn’t quite ready for it as I hate any confrontation of any type. I was someone who hated talk but expressed myself through my actions and all wanted was never to see her again and truth be told, somehow, I missed her despite what I had heard and what had gone down hence, why I kept dodging her.
We had a loose click then; I started hearing that the other members of the click were moving with her when I hadn’t even confronted her. I went to enquire if it was true from the person that was in the forefront and who was actually the first to condemn Beauty and even fuelled the whole thing and she said:
“Please what’s my own with what’s going on between you two? If you want to confront her, then do so and leave me out of it”
Sosexy- “Oh? So that’s it now? You just said all that for what and to what end? You finally created a rift between us and you’re extricating yourself like you have no inkling of what I’m saying. Anyway, it’s done”
I was fast learning the way the world operated and what better way but to blend in it?
I never confronted Beauty but steered of her. Those who wanted to hear more came asking why we were not seen together, I said nothing and I’m sure she gave no explanations.
By then, Bobi and I were fast becoming history with series of humiliations directed at me. Finally, he brought the brewing issue of Beauty up and I said I didn’t want to talk about it then he had the gall to tell me he never did it. Swore even. He said Beauty was the truest friend I would ever have and to that I laughed long and hard all the while looking at him with derision and finally telling him to ‘drop it’; just those words.
All those who affirmed the affair between Bobi and Beauty now denied ever saying that and instead, made me out to be the suspicious one who was ungrateful of the friendship bestowed on me by Beauty. Everyone, that is except Shade who kept reminding me that we had gotten proof and that I should leave Bobi. She called spineless and silly but I guess I needed a sign from heaven telling me succinctly that I should take myself out of that relationship and get going.
Finally my birthday and I threw a party where even Beauty was in attendance. She came to proffer her explanation eyeball to eyeball for the first time. She said she did nothing with Bobi and that it was Bobi carrying the rumour about them both so that I could split. She said we shouldn’t be friends over a guy that wasn’t even worth it and wondered what I was still doing with him, that she had even stopped speaking with him and that I was better off without him.
I waited for my BF to show up for my party but he didn’t. I wanted to sink into the ground as it was so in obvious he wasn’t in attendance. My friends rallied around me and tried their best to make me happy and not let anything mar my day but what do you think? I’m guessing that was my sign from heaven but I chose not to give heed to that.
Two days later, he showed up that he had been busy in the studio and had designs to turn in so he couldn’t afford to show up; brought a ‘card’ along with him for me. He also said I should pack up some things that we were going to his apartment to celebrate my birthday.
He said he couldn’t wait to ‘be’ with me, ‘feel’ me and all that within those lines and when he was done, do you know what happened next? He sat me down and said:
“We’ve been dating for a year and half now and I have to come clean with you, I’m tired of being caged, I’ve had to stick to rules and all because I’m in a relationship and baby, that’s just not me. I have to tell you, you’re slowing me down. Lets just be really good friends. You’re a nice girl and I’m sure there are guys out there gunning for you and don’t think I haven’t heard! It’s over’
I was numbed with pain. My world had just fallen apart and just like that. I cried like a baby and uncontrollably at that. His friend came to ask what’s up and when he didn’t get any reply, the friend gathered me close and held me, he whispered to me that I was better single than dating his friend. It was hell.
That night, I opted to sleep on the rug as I didn’t need Bobi around me. Dawn couldn’t come soon enough; I left as early as 6am with all of my stuff.

EPILOGUE
When I gotten to my room, it was obvious to my friends that it was over and they all kept celebrating. Subsequently, Bobi came to beg but I didn’t even see him. Maybe it was out of fear that my friends would maim me. I tried to get over him and he tried getting in my ways in so many ways. He even went as far as having an affair with chic whom we both lived on the same block and would make a hell of a noise whenever he was in her apartment which he knew I’d hear and would hurt.
I did hurt and instead of bringing me back to him, it pushed me away and I genuinely began to dislike him a whole lot.
The Bobi phase left me and I had more of them friends and yeah I had loads of male admirers and I had now become popular for reasons unknown to me. Once in while, Bobi would pop up, he always was, I was finally someone he wanted to be with (funny). Especially when he asked me to marry him! Ha! Funny. With a criteria that I’d always be slim! Mscheeew!
Here’s me being single until I met Patrick.

CRUMBLED CARDS

THIS BLOG IS A TRUE ACCOUNTOF MY LIFE.
SO NO QUESTIONS ABOUT ITS AUTHENTICITY OR NOT.

Sosexy speaks:
Oh did I tell you Bobi called me on Easter Monday and suggested we hang out? Hmm after all these years. Don’t crucify me just yet, I declined the offer.
… I couldn’t wait to leave this now unbearable group as I just couldn’t sit still. I had to see someone, ask questions and conduct my own investigation. I wasn’t a kid anymore; events were showing me that I had to either stand up for myself or get drowned.
Which was it going to be?

An hour later, I bade them farewell and I could see they were happy to see me leave as we weren’t really friends. They were also happy that they had bust my bubbles, made a mess of the safe cocoon I had created and have wrecked some havoc. One less happy person.
I had made a friend independent of Beauty. Her name’s shade; if any gist as it really is exists, then ask Shade. She’s got it hot and real, maybe its cause her boyfriend was popular and always hung out with the movers and shakers of our school. I went straight to where I knew I’d find her. Where the whole school converges, like hangout, show off, flirt and all .Let me call it SHAYO ARENA, true to talk, I saw her with her BF all decked up for the night with her man. I beckoned to her and she came welcoming me back to school and all. I had to steady myself so I lit a stick of cigarette and asked her pointblank what she knew about Beauty and Bobi, she laughed genuinely and said:

Shade-We all wondered when you’d come to your senses.

Sosexy- Shade, update me, seems like I’ve been floating.

Shade- You really have.

Sosexy-So what’s the deal?

Shade- Simple, we all thought you gave a silent approval to Bobi and that slut.

Sosexy- So why didn’t you tell me?

Shade-Tell you? Now come on, how? Not like it started today.

Sosexy- Do you think you all might be wrong? Because I don’t think she would do this to me.

Shade- This girl, you would never learn, okay, I’d give you proof if only to make you stop being a fool especially to Bobi and to show you your friend’s a slut.

I waited for her to get her BF’s permission to leave for a while to run an errand with me. Nway, we went to see someone else who happened to be the current GF of Bobi’s best friend (remember? The guy Beauty slept with) and after all the pleasantries and little catch up ended, Shade went straight to why we came but the chic refused to talk about it but after so much cajoling she gave in. She had this to say:

“Well Bobi came over to spend the weekend with us and the next morning while we were lazing around, Bobi started talking about Beauty and how she keeps sleeping with him irrespective of the fact that he’s supposed to be seeing her best friend (me)”
The reason he spoke so freely in front of this chic was because he didn’t know she had any connection to me whatsoever.
So there! I had my proof and I didn’t know what to do with it. It was surreal. Like it was someone else’s life we were talking about.
Then Shade asked: “So what’s your next step? Tell me you’d break up with that SOB”
I just kept crying, my tears were flowing endlessly. I never knew the world was so wicked and I guess I’m still in shock, like I was standing out of my body and watching myself cry.
I got a grip on myself; one thing I hate is seeing people look at me with pity or sympathy. I brought this on me and I would see this through. I threw away the stick of cigarette I was smoking (My last stick ever) and suggested Shade and I leave. I thanked the chic profusely for finally agreeing to talk, say the truth.
We walked back to SHAYO ARENA and as I bade Shade and her BF goodnight, someone covered my eyes from behind.


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Eyes Wide Shut 3

SEXY THOUGHTS:
All day I felt the urge to kiss and be kissed!
I even resorted to kissing myself! Hope I don’t sound
Crazy?’ cause you know desperate times call for desperate measures.

INNER THOUGHTS:
It took me long with this come back because, I was uncertain as to how much I should reveal but WTH this is SAY IT AS IT IS . Liver no cut me but I’m used to keeping it in and lost it for a while.

SOSEXY SPEAKS:
…We (Beauty and I) packed our bags and struggled to get to the park. But of course you know how it is when everyone is headed towards same direction; Chaos! With gunshots, we could barely coordinate ourselves properly. We didn’t even know when we started running with our luggage (Imagine that!) and hiding in the bushes was no option because that was where the shooters came from.
There was a heavy cult blood bath in school and this time, it included girlfriends and chics who hung out with each crew. They didn’t spare anyone. It was then that Beauty told me that Bobi belonged to one of the cults fighting! Me? Dating a cultist?! Hence the hurried packing and running for dear life! Well, everyone was too. When we finally got to the park, it was crowded and there was no transport vehicle just to get us out of that war zone. The whole school was in panic.
As if that wasn’t enough, I saw some chic I knew just get shot in the arse! Everyone ran. The cultists came out and started shooting at everyone. In the confusion, I lost track of Beauty; I ran aimlessly but it got to a point when I knew I couldn’t outrun these guys, I mean they were high on drugs and whatever else, were also blood thirsty, hungry for supremacy.
You won’t believe where I hid: There’s a place where we buy fries. You know? Yam, plaintain, potatoes and the like. This girl hid under the table of that spot and I, out of instinct, followed her and we both hid under a table that was in full glare of these people.Now, how confused was that?
I was so scared! Then they got to us wielding bottles, axes and machetes, shooting at those who were running and on the table. Some of it touched me but till today, I don’t know how I made it outta there alive, really. I just thank God. Well some touched me but it didn’t matter; that wasn’t what touched me to the core. There in front of me and this girl I was crouching under the table with, a guy was butchered without mercy while he kept pleading, after that, they continued their rampage.
Somehow, I reconnected with Beauty and we hustled for 3days to leave school.
We stayed home for 2months before we were called back to school. I didn’t come back immediately and somehow, I hadn’t been in contact with Beauty and Bobi. Anyway, I went back to school but my boyfriend and best friend were not yet back. I was worried for Bobi. I wanted to know if he was okay, If he survived the mayhem.
In all of this since Beauty wasn’t back yet, I had to hang out with some mutual friend Angy of Beauty and I .I didn’t like her just that her room was a fun and gossip arena so just wanted to amuse myself. When I got there, there were lots of chics and of course we did the most common thing known to us: Gossip.

Girl 1-What’s up na? How your bobo?

Sosexy- He’s fine I think, I hope

Girl 1- Ehen, so what’s up? Hope these guys didn’t injure him oh.

Sosexy- What? Don’t get

Girl 2- What’s with the forming? Like you don’t know he’s a coded guy? Abeg! Next please!

Sosexy- What’s with you? Please if you don’t like my face, that’s the door!

Angy- Ha ha now.., it hasn’t gotten to that, you both should drop it.

Sosexy- Please, I’m leaving;

Girl 2 – Better! One less pretender.

Sosexy- Me? Pretend? What for?

Girl 1 snickers and starts laughing derisively.

Sosexy- What’s the matter? (I asked turning towards Angy, but she was clearly having fun)

Girl 1- Ok how’s your co-wife?

I’m still lost here and so I just look at them and shrug

Girl 2- Oh God! As if you don’t know that Bobi is fucking Beauty.

Angy- Ha! See me oh! I dodge before Aeroplane will carry me go.

Girl 2- Let her go and tell now! I can defend myself anyway, and please, it’s true!

Sosexy- What are you talking about? What are you saying?

Girl 2- I don’t even know why I’m bothering with you but the whole school thinks you Okayed Bobi and Beauty’s affair, like you all have an agreement or something.

Sosexy- What affair? No Beauty can’t now, she can’t do that. I would trust her with my life.

Girl 2- See your mouth! (She mimics me) Is your life your man? You just don’t know where you are. You think you’re acting a film of friends through high school and through thick and thin.

Sosexy- Stop being nasty and talk to me
Girl 2- Hold up, you mean you really don’t know?

Sosexy- I don’t know anything.

Girl 1- Well we’ve all seen her countless times.

Sosexy- So? I know of all her visits and she even gives me word for word account of their conversation and don’t forget, they were friends before even me.

Girl 2- You’re so naïve! Are you stupid?!

Sosexy –Well, I don’t believe you
All of them- It’s all you and yours, what’s our business? Next topic?


With that, we moved to another topic but I lost interest, I was so unsettled. Could this be true? Was I living in a fool’s paradise?
Could history be repeating itself with me as Beauty and her ex-friend? But I thought she said she never liked Bobi in that way and that he wasn’t even her type? Could she have had an affair with Bobi’s best friend and then sleep with Bobi? That would be really disgusting; could she do it to me?
I then started to shimmer with anger.

Eyes Wide Shut 2

I met Beauty through a mutual family friend who was our guardian on campus. I’ve not seen any Nigerian girl with a face as beautiful as Beauty’s (including my humble self) She’s nice, giving and sings like there’s no tomorrow. She’d been on campus a year before so since I was new she literally showed me the ropes; she helped me settle in without any hitch. I was a fresher and had my place; I invited her to be my roomie.She agreed not because she couldn’t afford it: Her family was also wealthy but she’s needed a friend and we blended, got real close.
She told me her story on a very good day that she slept with her close friend’s boyfriend. That she got attracted to him and they both couldn’t stop sleeping with each other and that was earned her a bad reputation in school.
The chic affronted her in a public place. Where we students’ hang out and all. You want your news to travel? Do it there.
This chic started throwing insults her way and all, she said she was embarrassed and all but to save face she had to take it and give it back to her.
So she (Beauty) said: “Yeah, I slept with him, still am, we aren’t and we still aren’t done, what you gonna do about it?”
Everyone went crazy. Her friend looked at her with disgust and walked away, she and her made up later but it just wasn’t the same anymore.
I listened to her and accepted her the way she was, I liked that about her. She was honest. I loved her as I would a sister if I had one and trusted her with all my heart.
Infact, Bobi’s closest friend was the guy she had the affair with so Beauty and Bobi were close and she always used to say he was never, that he wasn’t even the one she had in mind for me; He was scrab.Anyway, too late.
I would appeal to her to find out what’s up with him and come and give feedback which she always did.
One day, on such appeals, while waiting in my room for her return, she came and told me that he tried to kiss her. I was so mad at him that I didn’t question what led to the attempted kiss it was that idiot that I had a problem with, trying to insult me, obviously, he had no respect for me.
The next time, she said went to see him on her own and met him in his towel after his shower and they got talking about me and this time, he got on top of her and she was so mad and she pushed him off her. He walked to the farthest of his room (he does that when he wants to say something he deems important) and asked

Bobi- “Am I a bad person?”
Beauty-“No, you are not, why?”
Bobi-“Sosexy thinks I’m a beast”
Beauty-“Well, no you are not, to me, you’re a very nice person
Sosexy’s opinion is her’s”
Bobi-“if only she’d just get it”
This time, the conversation didn’t sound right to me and I silently began to wonder and would have loved to pursue it, make enquiries but couldn’t because we had to vacate school premises immediately as there was serious violence and I didn’t even get the chance to see him or say goodbye. Students were dying around us like fleas.

Eyes Wide Shut

…..So I went home for the vacation with my friend, Beauty staying at my home for the next two weeks. I finally confided in her what had happened to me and she sympathized with me that the next time will be better and kept beaming at me saying:
“You’re now a woman”
I had a pressing worry: I hadn’t seen my period and I prayed as I never did to God to deliver me from this mess which finally he did by answering my prayers, my period came. I was so happy.
School resumed, I went back and the first person I couldn’t wait to see was Bobi, I went to see him and when he saw me coming, he shouted saying:
“Orobo! See how you’ve gone and added weight, what is wrong with you? Why can’t you control your eating?”
A neighbour of his, a chic had to say: “Haba Bobi, take it easy now. Allow her get here first.”
Anyway we spent time together and in between, I told him about the delay in my period and he just said it’s cause I hadn’t done it before so my body was getting used to the change, well whatever that meant although that didn’t sound all that plausible to me.
My trying to appease him, working on making a success out of the relationship continued well into the semester with him giving me days I could see him and days I shouldn’t. If I went contrary to that, he got nasty with me. Times were when during my ‘off’ days venture to see him, he had other girls who to me, I just felt were friends insist they were going to stay in his room ‘cause they were ‘scared’ of sleeping alone in their room or was it when he started asking another girl out? There was this day he said I had to capture my man and I was too timid that when I come in and see girls in his room or him playing with chics way too improper that I just sit there. My heart got broken everyday.
He told me he didn’t like fair chics that he likes them as black as ebony and it so happens I’m so fair, I then started hating my complexion. He said he didn’t like fat of chubby chics, boy did I start jogging! I even became the jogging captain. I joined all sorts of sports group, well it paid off ‘cause I became a slim shady and that still, wasn’t enough for him I tell you.
He loved wild girls with crazy dressing, see me dressing crazily and he started complaining! I even started smoking and drinking, It was such a crazy time for me. Bottom line, I did have an inferiority complex. I stopped the smoking and drinking ‘cause that just wasn’t me at all.
Funny thing was all his friends came to love me and become genuine friends to me. So most times, I got to know about his escapades and his whereabouts through them. They even started telling me to stop having anything with him but of course I didn’t listen, I was following my heart. A lot of them stopped speaking to me ,which didn’t bother me that much cause I felt I was in love and they were just ‘jealous’ of him.
In those times, when It got too much for me to handle, I always appealed to my friend Beauty to intervene on my behalf for me. Now, I really must give you a little history about this close friend of mine called Beauty.

TRADING MY NAIVETE

Being naïve is a blissful ignorance that is truly enjoyable while it persists but when it gets compromised you view life in two ways: Thankful that you can now ‘see’ clearly or; regret for losing that naiveté.
I had a secondary school boyfriend and when we had our first kiss, I honestly believed I had lost my virginity. For each new class, I had a different boyfriend. People thought I was so streetwise whereas I knew nothing. It would surprise my ex-school mates if they knew otherwise, all of them excluding the boyfriends.
So I went to college along with a resolution not to make up, to hide my shape and bla bla bla so all those bad boys won’t see me. Yeah right! They snuffed me out from the long ankle length skirts and my empty face with only powder and lip gloss.
My cover was blown when my mother who spares no expense on her dressing and appearance came to pay me a visit; then people wondered how I could look so drab with a mom this fabulous looking.
She employed my friends who were way different (in terms of dressing and cosmetics) from me to shake me up a bit and not allow me look as barefaced as a man. She did all that with good intentions I know, but all it brought me was unwanted attention to my otherwise quiet life.
So through my girlfriend (for purposes of easy communication, her name will be Beauty), I met this guy, Bobi very popular and a lively company at that. He spared me a glance and had a few minutes conversation with me,said I was a nice girl to which I blushed uncontrollably. Bobi said he’d like to see me again.
I couldn’t stop talking about him! He was my first real thing! I was too naïve to know the rules of the game that this wasn’t secondary school and these guys were all old in the game and I, just a JJC.
I started visiting him and all that and then I met all the hardcore chics who drank, smoked and were also runz babes. In all this, I discovered that they were all in serious relationships in school and it amazed me to no end that a guy would still find such a girl attractive despite the obvious, then, I thought, mine would be a piece of cake.
When I first told him I was a virgin, He laughed to my face! Off course he didn’t believe me what with chics do these days. I never planned to give up my virginity; I had started getting reports about him and his philandering and it hurt like hell. He even told me that he liked me too much to mess with me and that he’d advice me to leave him be, I wasn’t the girl for him and that time with all the demon he had pursuing him. Did I listen? No, I wanted to convince him of mine love for him and win him over. I was so blind and terribly so.
I could have saved myself the stress but I continued and one day when I spent the night at his place which wasn’t the first time anyway he pounced on me and as much as I entreated on his better side, all my entreaties feel on deaf ears. After he was done, he said:
‘..Thought you said you were a virgin? I didn’t even feel any resistance there, you chics! ‘
I cried as I had never done before. I hated myself, Beauty for introducing us. None of the experiences chics have with their boyfriends with blissful memories were anything like mine. It was horrible, humiliating and bad. I just knew I had just experienced the worst sex ever!
The next day, a neighbor came in to his room (a girl, thank God!) and screamed at what she saw. What even he didn’t notice, me neither. There were blood stains on the bed sheet. It was then that he looked at me and kept apologizing .Well, it was too late. I feel ill and was bedridden for a few days before I went home for the vacation.

PROLOUGE

Crazy you know? Thought I’d be flooding with my escapades and experiences. Faced with coming up with the perfect way to come out in the open.

Been in the closet for so long it’s so hard to not be locked up in my head. What to do now? I’d spill spill and keep spilling. Maybe that would make me feel abit…Now what’s the word I should use?

I could get sad at times looking back at my past but then, Hey it’s not my fault when things get bad no matter how hard I try is it?

Now I’m told I’m a heartless bitch.Their cross not mine.

It’s not my fault I’m too pretty to be real;

Not my fault I’m sexy and get sexier by the year;

I make no apologies for who and what I am.

I’d not lie to you when I don’t like you but will help you spend your money when you won’t just let me be.

Cause I’ve found out the surest way to send a man running is to make him believe you’re out to get his moneyL (see Olympic game in action)

Who’s the guy that says no woman can entice him out of his relationship or whatever he has going for him at that time? I’d say that’s a big fat lie. It just depends on when your paths cross and the prevailing circumstances at that time in his life.

A chic tells you she didn’t know when she fell for the guy or how she starts sleeping around. Indeed! One amazing thing about women is that they’re more strong willed than men even though they are supposed to be the weaker sex.So, when they do something, its cause they actually want to at that point in time.

What is this? This is supposed to be a short prologue,

I’m Sosexy, sexy and deliciously dangerous to both male and female. Can’t compromise my happiness, Call me self centered, your biz not mine.

I’m about to let you in on my concept not cause you deserve it but to amuse me and maybe you get amused too. Hopefully you get to learn from it too.

I’d be back with Chapter one; Cheers!